Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
