If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
