well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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