you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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