I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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