It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
