yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
