Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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