I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize