I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
You ate ashes out of my bong
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
