just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
