Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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