ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
please come you make the beer taste better
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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