she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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