I bet he comes in French.
Duck Duck Cougar?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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