I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Is Oprah even human
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
