my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
