did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
that's an acceptable place to lick
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
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