"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Of course I have a pirate flag
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
