I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
i believe in u and ur pee
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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