You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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