I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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