Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
