Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I love having hate sex.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We need a shit load of segways right now
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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