2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
