i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
the gays at disneyland are vicious
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
