Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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