he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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