I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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