Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
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