just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm really busy with my period
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