I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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