Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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