Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
