16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
