i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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