I think my vagina is haunted
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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