I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
