This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
