Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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