Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
