dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
