Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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