Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
