i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
