I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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