i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
