Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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