today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
