bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I came so hard my ears popped.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
