after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
