Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
