...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
