Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
