i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Your dad touched me again.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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