i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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