I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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