im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
