Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
