does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
