just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
