I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
