I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
