There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
