i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You are a genius and a whore.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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