i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
