Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
