Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
