i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
