How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
