i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
